A sense of humour is important, especially when dealing with some of the less pleasant tasks in life. In the spirit of fun, I have decided that experience has bestowed me a new qualification – that of an Emissions Engineer. 

What’s an Emissions Engineer? I’m glad you asked. An Emissions Engineer is one who efficiently deals with the expulsions of the urinary tract and at either end of the gastrointestinal tract on an as required and often emergent basis.

Practical field work is required to earn this qualification. My son has been giving me this experience “in the wild”. It stated with a bang in the first 48 hours of his life with rather sleepless nights listening to the gurgling breathing noises a newborn makes during their first nights “on the outside”. He was fine of course, but that’s just what fathers do right?

Then the gurgling breathing noises gave way to the auditory preludes to the various emissions babies are prone to. Whether it be burps, possits, pees or poos, there was plenty to be concerned about given the possibilities for mess at any given time of the day or night.
Weeks after leaving hospital, all I can say is it would be nice to have one of those magical laundry baskets they have there at home ie: you put items soiled with the unspeakable in it and later, you magically get them back like nothing happened without further effort on your part.
Come to think of it, that’s what my son has right now. Lucky him.

Redemption

The soiling of the conscience and the ruining of the soul are far more fundamental and eternally disastrous messes to deal with. In fact, they were initially beyond our capabilities to recognise, let alone deal with. Thankfully, we have a Heavenly Father who knows that and is more than willing and able to deal with it.

If earthly fathers can be Emission Engineers, we’re in more than good hands to have our Eternities Engineered by our Heavenly Father. The trick is to recognise that and accept His help.

PS: previously I wrote of how my newborn son hates nappy changes. I’m pleased (and proud) to announce that after one month of experience, he has learned that nappy changes aren’t that bad but are in fact good for him. He has learned to trust our judgement there. May we all look back on our personal and world history and see how God’s track record makes Him trustworthy for the small and big things in life.

Image from Internet